2 kids with adhd, an anger management case of a husband --am i right to go insane?!?

my 5-year old son has been diagnosed with adhd. the extremely hyper kind.
recently, my 7-year old was also diagnosed with adhd. but, this time, it's the overemotional kind.
my husband, who hates labels and is in complete denial of our sons' conditions, has become impatient with them. he gets angry a lot, and fast. even for the smallest thing. like when my son not being able to pay attention to him the first time he says something. or when my son cried because my husband said something that offended him, he'd flare up because 'boys shouldn't cry so easily!'.
frankly, i hate the adhd label, too. i'm in denial on and off. and i am not about to it an excuse for our children's behavior. but disciplining them takes longer so patience and support is needed. and my husband just about give up most of the time.
i'm trying to bridge the growing gap between my family. but i feel i'm going to lose my mind in the process.
both our children are undergoing therapy and going to a good school with a great sped program so i know they're improving. but these things take time. and my family is just about falling apart.
is there anyone out there in the same situation as mine? how do you cope?

hey danielle! my eldest got kicked out of 3 preschools (can you believe that??) --all of which suggested we have him tested for adhd. so we did. i mean, 3 times?!! god!

Believe it or not, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I have at least 4 add/adhd children, I am ADD, and my husband is ADD. However, I am a creative ADDer so I can figure out ways to compensate - but it's frustrating when I see that my own daughter can't compensate.

Find a support group - either online or near you. Search for ADHD support groups in your area (use google or try here: http://www.adders.org/)

I've got a great resource for encouraging positive behavior, chores, etc. Email me and I'll be happy to provide it to you as attachments.

I have empathy for you, although I am not in the same boat. Seeing this from the outside, all I can offer is, Try not to lose yourself in all of this. Be optimistic, and take a little time everyday to try to regain your sanity.

There is no such thing as ADHD it's just a polite label for bad behavior.

I'm not in your situation, but I can understand why you're going crazy. Some kids diagnosed with ADHD are just really clever, and getting bored with the tasks set out for them in everyday life. Is it possible that's the case with your kids?

It's not fair to expect you to deal with their behavioral problems all on your own, but are you able to keep your husband off the scene for now when they're playing up? It sounds like he's only making the situation worse right now, and getting you upset in the process.

If your children are in therapy, perhaps your husband should consider taking some anger management classes or therapy as well.

Are you able to take them out places where they're able to burn off their energy after school and in the weekends? Perhaps the park or beach where they can run around lots, and not get into too much trouble. If they're out of the house a bit perhaps your husband won't be so wound up and perhaps you could find a park with a cafe, or take a book so you can relax too?

Good luck, ayway. =) Sounds like you're having an impossible time =(

Did you know that adhd can be hereditary? Would your husband be reacting because after all the testing he is recognising a lot HIMSELF in his son's behaviours but is in denial. He sounds like he has trouble controlling his temper, that is also one of the symptoms. You certainly have a lot to deal with and I hope you have good supporting family and friends because you are going to need them, you also need time out and depending on where you live there should be support groups that can help or have others you can talk to that understand what you are going through. My son is at a special needs school, he has an intellectual disability but is going to be retested as he has autistic tendencies, he is also very demanding and destructive, and I have friends who's children have adhd and have seen what they have to deal with.
Oh and your question as to if your right to go insane, You wouldnt have the time to, you have your hands full as it is. I wish you all the best

I don't think you are crazy you seem to be the most level headed of your family. Yes there are many families out there with this kind of crazy life. I myself have an abusive 19 year old and he makes my life living crazy. He makes our whole family go bonkers. It is best if you stay in counseling so you can keep your sanity. Give it all to God. Just lay it at his feet and ask him for help. You will find some peace by doing so. PS Drinking will solve nothing but only add to the problem.

you could look up adhd diets sometimes they help and can get rid of the need for meds , ask your Dr first ,
tell hubby to simmer down , if you dont stand up to him he will continue to do this , put your foot down and keep it there,and tell him it is ok for boys to cry , but not for adults to make them cry.
you have no right to go insane and you won't like my answer but you asked.
at 5 and 7 they should not have been labled that quick , but if they truly are you need to stand up to your angry hubby and tell him I mean TELL him to knock it off!!
you don't need to live like that and feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time.

Honey, I am surprised you are not a drinker. I am in the same boat..its so funny how you are looking for help and someone else asks the same question you want to ask..

First of all my son has not been diagnosed however I believe he has the whole Adhd because his father is that way.. I know its hard for a grown man to understand there could be something wrong with his sons but you need to tell him he needs to chill out and you need to take control over the discipline of the boys.. I have found that when I take care of my son, my husband has no reason to yell or get upset...

I really don't know what to you tell you other than get a bottle of wine or ask your doc for something to help you cope.. there is nothing wrong with mom having a glass in the pm....

email me if you need some one to talk to
hugs
mrsjmward@yahoo.com

Would like to know how you got the boys tested???