What percentage of parents do you think have their kids diagnosed as ADD and ADHD simply because they are lazy?

parents? To lazy to get off their duffs and work with their kids and actually teach them something?

I don't want to offend any parents of ADD kids but 50 years ago, ADD did not seem to exist and still the world and society in general seemed to be in far better order.

Whilst I am willing to admit there is a handful of people out there that truly do have ADD and ADHD - I do think its become an excuse for parents who fail to punish their children in an effective manner, or are just to plain lazy to do so.

I've seen a child pull cans of beans of a shelf in a supermarket - and the mother just looked at me and said 'he's got ADHD - he can't help it) and then smiled at him, and took him off to buy him a toy for good beahviour! (Because he hadn't shouted or screamed). The kid knew exactly what he was doing - you could see it on his smug little face that he knew he could do pretty much whatever he wanted, and get away with it as well.

I've got poor concentration levels, and i will openly admit that - but its linked to a completely different disorder (neurofibromitosis) - but my parents never, ever allowed me use it as an excuse for by bad work/bad behaviour

My son is ADHD and I am not a lazy parent. He goes to a therapist twice a week to work on behavioral issues and a psychiatrist once a month for evaluation and changes in dosing medicine. 50 years ago these problems existed children were just labeled differently. I work with my son as does his school counselor. He is constantly on the "go" and fits the Dx to a tee.
Some may just want to make life easier for themselves, but believe me I could do without three extra doctor appts a month.


EDIT~~~~ Many kids who go untreated end up self medicating with drugs or alcohol, just to feel normal and accepted.

My son has ADD,ADHD,and Mood Disorder,and when he was dianosed with it he was'nt even there for that he was there for a regular check-up,and the doctor brought it to my attention,i had always thought he had might of had it,needless to say i did start taking him to see a therapist so we could work thru this,so he can get better,there are others things in his life he's had to deal with that a 7 yr old should'nt have had to go thru. I don't have time to be lazy,if anything i put all my time and energy in trying to make things better for him,and having a kid with ADD is very stressful and if i could snap my fingers and he be normal i'd do it in a heartbeat,i hate it that he suffers with this i am not saying there are'nt some parents out there that aren'nt that way,and it is sad that their are doctors out there that dianose normal children with it,but i half to defend us parents that have children that really do have it,Have you ever been around a child that really has it?

I think ADHD has a bad rap. Viewing a family from the outside doesn't mean you really know what's going on. I can only speak for my son who's only 5 and he's not on meds and was diagnosed when he was 3.5. I am a stay at home mom and he's very hard to live with let alone discipline and teach.
I would like to say this- being diagnosed with ADHD doesn't mean you are on meds for it.
I was also wondering about that study where they found differences in the brain of ADHD kids. Is that study generally ignored or considered biased or something?

The problem is that if these parents believe their pediatricians on a diagnoses such as this, that they feel they suddenly have a cop out on parenting, that they have an excuse. Hyperactivity and a lose of focus is no reason to not discipline your child, or create rules or boundaries. Consistency and persistence can help a child who truly has ADHD be a well functioning child and adult in our society, but too many times I see parents slack off when their child needs them even more than before a diagnoses.

I have seen parents seek out a diagnoses when her kid was just being a normal 2 year old and I have little respect for them/her. since I have seen this before, I am sure that it happens and those parents should be told by their child's doctor that there is no reason to diagnose yet or to send them off to a specialist if they are pushy about it. Those parents who want medication (or just a diagnoses) for their children to make it easier on them is wrong.

However, there are true cases of ADHD that need help, extra love, and attention and I commend those parents that do take the right steps in helping their child.

Prior to my experience as a teacher, I would agree with you one hundred percent; however, through my experience, I have seen several kids who seriously had an inability to focus and control themselves. I have worked with kids who hopped around like they had ants in their pants.. with whom I had tried every kind of intervention for their benefit and so that the other students in class were not disrupted by their behavior.. and finally, in desperation set a timer, put a favorite treat in front of them, and said, ok, work on this coloring sheet for 5 minutes, and you can have the treat... and they wanted it sooo bad, and couldn't do it. There are some who really do have an issue. However, I still feel that the majority of kids who are diagnosed with this condition and are medicated are kids who don't need it.. if I had to say a number, based on my experience, I'd say 20% of the kids who are on the meds actually need them.

It is so very heartbreaking to see these children who want to please and be "loved" like all other children, yet they cannot control themselves.. before they know it, they are the "outcasts" among their class because the others don't want to get in trouble by being around them.. and the teachers, though we want to help, basically have to isolate them and spend so much time and energy trying to help them that the class as a whole suffers.. and their self esteem crashes over something they cannot control.

And for all those of you who say that this wasn't a problem years ago, you're right.. it was because we didn't know what was wrong with them or how to help them.. so we shipped them off to that "special" classroom under the stage or they dropped out of school and were labeled "a problem child".

PUH-LENTY!
i mean i'm not discounting the fact that add and adhd exist, but sometimes parents just push it.

my boys have been in and out several schools and they all suggested we have them assessed. sure enough, the doc said they have adhd! it seems to be the favorite condition these days.

but rather than lazing over this by pumping our kids with drugs, we went the tedious and old-fashioned route of getting therapy for them. it's great because it involved the whole family! it was a blessing in disguise because our bond as a unit has never been stronger.

my kids are in a good regular school now and they're improving tremendously, performance and behavior-wise. they're a lot more independent now, too.

just because you believe there is such a thing as adhd, it doesn't mean you just won a one-way ticket to laying off parental duties. for some, more responsible parents --it's about supporting your kids 110% more.

Tammy C -

I am "wowed" by the response to this answer - mostly because it has received such a response from so many people. I think that tells you how passionate people are about this topic of ADD / ADHD and the idea of parents being lazy.

There have certainly been a lot of good points covered, and I'd just like to add my $0.02 from the perspective of someone who works with children and families affected by ADHD.

First and foremost, people are correct in suggesting that ADHD is a very popular diagnosis, and it's "popularity" is increasing because of our awareness and the media coverage (inaccurately) of the condition.

The idea of ADD / ADHD has been around for close to 100 years...however the name has changed and yes, society was different. Our society is rapidly evolving, and things change. These changes shake up some "dirt," if you will and uncovers things that we weren't necessarily paying attention to.

The bottom line is that ADHD is not due to bad parenting... It is not due to bad teachers... And it is not an excuse because people are lazy.

However, that does not mean that these beliefs and actions (or in-action) can't lead to what we see as ADHD or make someone with ADHD appear to be worse. In other words, these things don't help someone who actually has ADHD.

Now, to be fair and balanced, there is some truth in your question and the responses you have received so far. There are probably instances where a child needs a little extra attention - but what child doesn't? And if your child is getting all the attention they deserve - there's no way to compare their behavior to another...because they are getting what we suggest is missing.

I want to be very careful here because I am so passionate about this topic. ADHD is a very real condition. I won't call it a disorder, and I do agree that it can be overdiagnosed because people (including professionals) truly don't understand it. There are just too many symptoms and behaviors that can make a child without ADHD appear to have ADHD. Not to mention the countless number of conditions that mimic symptoms of ADHD.

The bottom line here (for me anyway) is paying attention to differences, and understanding what each individual child needs. Your question suggests that children need more love, attention, and support. Every child needs that and should be getting that...

So for me, ADHD is real and I wish more people would be understanding to those who struggle with it or what looks like it. I can understand the frustration to say it's an excuse -- but I've just seen too many families (good families who care) torn apart because of the lack of support and adequate understanding of the condition.

Hope this adds a useful perspective to the discussion.

Rory

Rory F. Stern, PsyD
ADHD Coach & "Former" Therapist
http://www.ADHDSuccessAudio.com

Not many, because a diagnosis of ADHD means more work as a parent not less. Once a child is diagnosed with this condition there is a LOT more work involved. Frequent doctoir visits, monitoring medication, working through diets, being a part of their child iep plan, working with the teachers, behaviour modification programs at home and so on.

I am thinking a vast majority. I do not deny it is real and exists. I know a couple of kids with it and it has nothing to do with the parenting. But I know a lot of people would rather label their kid so they have an "excuse" for their behaviour and about not doing something about it

More than 1/2 of parents seem to want labels for their kids even the teachers' today are diagnosing kids in their classroom let us just shove meds down their throats & keep them like zombies it's hypocritical because the slogan is don't do drugs I wonder how parents' managed yrs ago when there was no chill pills given for active kids

I think that parents are spending more time away from their children these days and that they aren't used to the excitement and energy level that their kids have. I think there are WAY too many kids diagnosed with these real problems and it hurts both kids with and without them.

I really think ADD and ADHD is a cover up for poor parenting skills and lack of proper discipline for the child. In the class room, it is lack of teaching skills most times.
( Connie Mom of 4 and 5th. Grade Teacher )

I think that it is just an excuse for hyper kids. I mean, I don't know that much about it I admit, but it seems to me more and more kids are being diagnosed with it.

Parents can't HAVE their children diagnosed with add/adhd. Only a doctor can diagnose those disorders and they can only diagnose them after testing. I suggest you learn something about a subject BEFORE you try to debate it.

Most of them. Plenty of people had these back in the day and no one threw adderrall and ridelyn at them. They gave them a good old fashioned grounding, spanking, or other punishment and sent them on their way...

Zero.

Only a professional can diagnose ADD and ADHD. They don't diagnose it because a parent is lazy.

All the best.

The majority of them. Doctors throw around the diagnosis of ADD and ADHA like it's nothing. The truth is most of these kids are just that...kids!

Its not that simple.

True, some of these kids have no issues at all except for eating too much junk food while others DO have valid issues.

Way too many!!