Living with a child with ADHD?

I am a 27 year old single parent. I have an 8 year old son who was diagnosed ADHD when he was 4. I decided not to medicate him until the school decided that if he could not control his behavior they would but him in special education. I have seen kids in special education in small towns and it is pretty much a babysitting service for these kids. I want him to learn and be on the same level as his peers, but he refuses to try. He would rather sit back unnoticed to get out of work. Recently, due to his behavior and slipping grades I have taken him out of the public school system and placed him in private school. At first his grades were wonderful, now he is showing the same behaviors he was in public school. Right now I am at my witt in with my son. I am tired and I have tried and tried but he will not try any better. He looks at school as somewhere to go and play. I sorry to say this but I am getting to the place where I can't stand being around him. I hate coming home from work b/c I know the teachers are going to tell me something that he has done. And before people think it's me, I have had him in counseling for the last 2 years, I reward him when he does something good, I have tried punishment, we talk, I buy him things, he has a father figure in his life, but he seems that he just wants to do what he wants. And yes we have already established it is not b/c his biological father is not here. My bf has been in his life for the last 3 years and he spends a great amount of time with him. He thinks it's just b/c he is a boy, but I am so tired and worn. I have cried several nights b/c I have no idea what to do. I honestly can't see him finishing high school b/c he refuses to do homework, lies about the work he has to do, and hides the homework he has. I have to go back to his school after pick ing him up from aftercare to see what he has for homework b/c he lies so much, that it is embarrassing. Can anyone tell me what I should do next before I go insane? What other help can I get for him? I really feel like I can't do it anymore majority of the days.

I want to say thinks to everyone for your positive responses. Yes he is on meds, we started with the low dosages, we started with Adderall now we are doing concerta and taking a 5 mg dosage at mid day. I think he understands a lot of the work, but he has NO concentration at all so the meds cannot be working. My fiancee has a major in Elementary Education so he helps my son with things he doesn't understand. I do not give him any sweets, but I am going to look into trying the diet plan for him. We just went in last week to find a new Social Psychologist. I love my son I just want to enjoy him at all time as well.

i know excalty how u feel sweety..my son his the same....about u mention putting him a special ed......my best bet "NO".

even u put him there...trust me the complain will never stop.....the bad thing is....they will record EVERY single things that he have done...every yr u have to be there to have this IEP meetings...which waste of time......but nothing is working AND him being in a special ed.....that will stay in school RECORD.....plus, he will stay there UNTIL he follow the RULES and REGULATION on his IEP report.

i was like u before.....i don't want to put my son on meds...put for his goodness sake i did........well at first, the doctor will see which med will work for him........then, for there trust me...u will see the differents.....big different....and actually that meds will help him somehow to calmdown...

i know your probably scare of side effects...but so far so good...and thank god no side effect yet............but to be honest since i put my son on meds.......it really BENEFITS him...........which is good cz he will NOT lower his selfesteem...by him being in trouble everyday.....................

Everything that you need to know can be found at my blog. Try the Feingold Diet. I have two boys myself. I may be able to help you or just be able to provide support if you need it. Get in touch with me.

Shad Fife........ has ADHD and what does it stand for ??????????????

give him the meds

my son and daugther book take meds for adhd and it helps them

I'm also a single mom. My 7 year-old son was diagnosed ADHD w/Speech Apraxia when he was about 4. I also wanted to hold off on meds.

He had a lot of trouble w/schoolwork & inattention last year (1st grade) and he had to complete summer school in order to be promoted to 2nd grade. At the beginning of the year he was having the same problems as last year. His pediatrician suggested a psychoeducational evaluation (to rule out any LD), then she sent him to a pediatric neurologist to handle his ADHD. His neurologist put him on Strattera in the 1st week of November, and in December his grades had gone from 60-70 avgs to 90-100's, and he is not nearly as fidgitty or disruptive in class.

I try to keep a close eye on him, as far as side-effects. etc - and so far he's doing very well! His speech has even improved!

I know it's a hard decision - but good luck with whatever course you choose. :)

My son is 9 has adhd and bipolar he hate schoool willn't do homework and cry over everything he on meds i would look into meds for you son but u may need to try different ones til you find the one that work bets for him it been 6 years still h=aven;t found right one they work for a while then stop good luck

Talk to his doctor about medication. I have ADHD and can honestly say I probably wouldn't have made it through school without the medication. The thing with kids with ADHD is their brains work differently so punishment and things like that don't work. No matter what you do, his mind isn't going to focus that well. He's probably not doing the work because he doesn't understand how to do it because he has trouble paying attention to what's going on in class. Have him start out on the lowest dose of medication possible and slowly increase it until it starts to work. That way he's not being overmedicated. Also watch his diet. He should avoid sugar, caffeine, and things like that. Google natural ADHD methods to help, but please please please, consider the medication.

is he now on medication? i was a foster parent for 2 years for a child with severe ADHD and a whole host of other problems. if he is not on medication i would really look into it. children with adhd have a problem with self control and if you think of their brain like a car transmission it is like they are stuck in one gear all the time. the right medication will really help him a lot. meds get such a bad rap, but with the studies done now there is some good treatment available. kids are not being falsely diagnosed and over medicated nearly as much as years passed. my foster son was on a low dosage of medication that really helped him be able to stop and think about his actions. also the first med tried might not be a good fit so you just have to work with a child psychologist to get the right meds and dosage. i know how you are feeling, there where days with my foster child that i just though how am i going to get through this. in the end he had other issues not related to the adhd that caused him to get really violent and so we had to have him moved.