My son's teacher thinks he has ADHD, I disagree. What should I do?

I've never dealt with anything like this before. My son is extremely intelligent. He's in kindergarten (started school at 4, is now 5) and knows all of his letter, numbers, and can read and do simple math. His teacher has been saying that he's exhibiting ADHD behaviors and has been talking to me about the benefits of ADHD medications. I am in no hurry to force drugs on my active, but as far as I'm concerned normal, 5 year old. I think he's bored, and she disagrees. I got his report card yesterday, and it says that he's struggling with his "sight words" so I got the list of words out and was going through them with him and he got them all right! WTHeck? I think that she's just impatient with him, and that she would rather have him in a trance at his desk then to deal with him.

I'm afraid to take him to the doctor because I know that they often take the side of the school. I'm throwing around the idea of homeschooling him and my other children, but I have 4 kids and I'm afraid I won't be up to the challenge of homeschooling them all, and I won't keep one home to watch his siblings go off to school every day. It's a tough situation all around.

I guess I just don't understand why he's exhibiting these behaviors at school, and not at home!? I can get him to sit down for close to an hour when we practice reading, but she insists that she can get him to sit still for 5 minutes to color a picture. What should I do? Take him to the doctor? I am really opposed to medicating a child that I feel is a completely normal, functioning 5 year old.

Ugh... that should say "she insists that she CAN'T get him to sit still for 5minutes to color a picture." Sorry. Should have proof-read the post first!

There are lots of possibilities here....and I 100% support you about the medicine...in fact there are ways to change the diet that sometimes can be just as effective as medication.

My son's 2nd grade teacher once mentioned to me that my son exhibited some ADHD characteristics. However, she is the only one and this year's teacher (4th grade) has gone as far as suggesting that he wouldn't quality for any special help, but my son does have a hard time concentrating at school. At home, with my supervision and encouragement, he is much more productive. In the classroom setting he doesn't engage much, doesn't finish work, would rather build with his crayons than color with them. AND my son is intelligent too.

What it really comes down to is probably learning style and personality....not all kids are going to sit still, focus all the time, finish all their work, and the expectation that a "normal" child does all this is simply ridiculous.

We are now in 4th grade. In 2nd grade my son got tutoring at Sylvan, in 3rd grade he was on grade level with all A's and B's. On the flip side, this year has been a big struggle for him, and we are now considering homeschooling him, because he's wasting a lot of time in school every day, getting discouraged, believing he is dumb, etc etc.

when you get a chance google the following:
the shut down learner
edison trait children
visual-spatial learner

How about just taking him to the doctor to have him evaluated? It won't hurt anything and if you don't want him medicated, then don't have him medicated. Have you also thought about sitting in on his class to see how he behaves there? I know my daughter is the complete opposite at school then she is at home. At home she can't sit still at all and I used to think she had ADHD. However, at school, they had no problems with her at all.

I went to college classes with the future teachers of the world ..Believe me, 95% arent anyone I would want NEAR MY CHILD. Dumbest most inspirational women I EVER met. They wanted the school schedule for employment and had little interest in kids whatsoever. Most complained how kids annoyed them. No teacher has the background to diagnose any ailment . Its so out of their league it isn't funny! And to suggest you give addictive ADDH drugs to your child is ...law suit city.

Whatever you do, don't be in denial. My mother is/was, and I DO have ADHD. I talked to her about it back in middle school, and she quickly brushed it off. I'm in college now, trying my absolute best, and really, really struggling. Be open-minded for the sake of your child. Get him screened anyway. What can it hurt? Absolutely nothing. What can it hurt to not get him screened? Possibly, like mine, his future.

I'd take him to a doctor who you trust. Don't even mention the school's opinion - the teacher is not qualified to say whether your child needs medication even if he DOES have ADHD.

Why does he even have sight words if he can read? Is he simply bored silly? I know at one point the only way I could get my son to cooperate with his flash cards was if I showed them to him upside-down. I showed the nursery he could read them all upside-down. They stopped worrying about him not cooperating with reading single words off cards.

First of all, his teacher is probably just trying to help you see what you won't see. She's around him all day in a setting where he has to be quiet and respectful and sit in his seat. If he can't do this at school, then chances are, there is something going on. It's not a bad thing. He could be bored, but that's no excuse for not being able to sit. If he's constantly up and doing stuff, it's distracting to the other 25 kids who need the extra help and attention that they're not getting because she's constantly dealing with your son. I'm not trying to be mean or harsh; I'm just the mother of a highly intelligent son who is ADHD and also a Pre-K teacher in a Montessori school, so I can come at it from both sides. If he is truly exhibiting ADHD behaviors in school, then a simple trip to a child psychologist won't hurt anything. Most of them can see it right away by how they behave in their office. My son went through several evaluations and tests before properly being diagnosed. But I'm glad that I did because it has truly helped him to be a better student.

You should tell your son's teacher that he has a medical provider, and you will stick with someone who has a medical degree when diagnosing your child. You might want to inform her that it is also illegal to practice medicine without a license.

I do believe ADHD exists, but I also believe that it is highly overdiagnosed. It is convenient for teachers to have normal children medicated, so that they do not act like normal children who have a physical need to move about-sitting still and being quiet is not natural for anyone, much less a 5 or 6 year old.

I would suggest homeschooling! I homeschool my children, and we love it. I have three (so far), and it is a challenge. But, the first thing you have to recognize is that homeschooling is not public school at home. It works good! There is a wonderful category here at Yahoo! Answers for homeschooling, under Education and Reference. You can also contact me via my profile and I can give you some other resources. It has been a great thing for our family!

How many students are in your son's class?

How many years has his teacher been teaching?

Where is your son in the birth order of the family?

You might want to have him evaluated by a doctor.

As for homeschooling, I did it for my 2, my sister does it with her 4 children and they are well adjusted. If you like, you can contact me via e-mail for more info.

Two things:

1 -- the teacher is not a doctor, so she's in no position to tell you what's 'wrong' with your son.

2 -- it is a very good possibility he is just extremely intelligent and extremely bored in that class.

Before drugging him, I'd suggest seeing what happens if he's put into an accelerated program in school (the Gifted and Talented is what they called it in my day). Oftentimes, extreme intelligence is mistaken for bad behavior because they're so bored they don't know what to do with themselves.

Lastly, visit a respected doctor if you have any questions. I don't know why you'd say the doctor would side with the school -- it's not in their best interest to.

I am going threw the same thing with my son who is in second grade. He also had trouble with sight words at school and one time I asked him why he didn't tell the teacher what the words are when she asked him and he told me that he had just told her what those words were last week. I couldn't help but laugh. He is probably thinking if she has to keep asking "me" what these word are then she has no business teaching. Anyway his teacher this year suggested that I have him tested for ADHD at the beginning of the school year because he was fidgeting in his chair then later he couldn't focus so it was ADD I will be so glad when this school year is over. His teacher is very nice but also very passive and will not tell him to sit up in his chair and pay attention like I asked her to do, but she wants me to put him on drugs, yea right. I tried to take things away from him for not doing what is expected of him at school and the teacher told me I was mean that he couldn't help it and it was not right for me to punish him. I think teachers today are so over loaded and under paid that if they can drug half of their classroom than that is just 1 less kid they have to deal with.They cannot make you drug your child. so do not let them make you feel like you are not doing what you should do.

The teacher has no right to suggest that you medicate your child. Period. I don't give a rats behind if she has been a teacher for her whole life, she is not a medical professional and does not know what she is talking about. Most medications are not even FDA approved for children under the age of 18. But I digress.

You can have your son evaluated by your Ped. You can request that the school evaluated your child, or you can just tell the teacher to scratch *** and don't worry about what she thinks or doesn't think. Besides there is only a few months left of school, regardless of where you live.

A teacher should not diagnose a child, but indicate that there is evidence of a problem. What you choose to do with that information as a parent is your decision.

Personally, I would rather be 100% certain that the teacher is wrong. The only way you can do that is to take your son to a specialist for an assessment.

You seem to be very defensive of your son's intellect. ADHD is no refelection on the intelligence of a child. Some very brilliant people have been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD.

When you are at home with your son, he is recieveing one on one attention, which makes it easier for him to concentrate. In a classroom situation, without the one on one attention, it is easier for children who are ADHD or ADD to lose focus.

I have dealt with several children in my classroom who exhibited clear signs of ADD and ADHD in a classroom environment, but when at home and the sole focus of their parent's attention, only exhibited slight ADD/ADHD behaviours.

I would recommmend that you give a specialist the opportunity to assess your son. If he is not ADHD/ADD, then there is a behavioural issue within the classroom where he will not participate with the teacher and comply with her requests.

I would also like to point out that ADHD/ADD does not always have to result in medication. Smaller class sizes, a key worker within the classroom dedicated to ADHD/ADD children, a different teaching style can all be great techniques to assist children. But they can't be undertaken unless the child is diagnosed.