What mental disease do I have: Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, or depression?

I started out with a low self esteem in pre school. I never really talked to
people unless they talked to me. I was shy and followed small routines
to make myself feel better. It kind of helped. No one really seemed to notice and I had a ton of friends.
*I really loved my mother and father, but was more attached to my mom. I used to cry when she left.
.I used to like writing stuff down. It let me let go. I am stubborn, and can get pushed around, but in the end I always push for the way
I want.

The part of me that is OCD is the part that causes me to have weird fantasies of killing people, especially my parents. The way I try to
rid the fantasies is doing the routines. They always change. Deep breaths don't help a ton. I have to do whatever my mind wants the routine to do.

I also get angry sometimes, so angry that I just want to scream or hit
something.

I always get distracted and forget things, I am always tired, and I am
bad at organizing.

I also avoid cracks, the color red, the color black, the number 13, the
number 7, and the number six.

You need professional medical help to rule out these things or to pinpoint one of them. You have far too many choices going on. Stop looking for symptoms of every disease. Everyone has some of those same symptoms. Just live. AFTER you seek professional help.

My best bet would be depression and some form of OCD. Maybe a personality disorder as well. But this is obviously affecting your life greatly, so I have to agree with everyone else. See a psychologist. You'll be surprised at how much better you can feel with some professional help.

i dont know what you have
but i SERIOUSLY
think that you should see a psychiatrist or a councelor at school
i really think its neccessary
esp. if you have any of the diseases listed above.

Please see a doctor.

How old are you aber? How are you sleeping, eating, energy?

See a doctor, he's the only one who can tell you what disease you have

I agree with the first 2 answers. Get professional help. You really need it.

Most of this sounds very much like OCD. The shyness and stubbornness is most likely just your personality traits, and if you don't cry anymore when your mum leaves, then it probably isn't a problem. It's the OCD - the rituals, the thoughts of killing people, anxiety or agression when things aren't right for you - is what would concern me the most. The best thing to do would be to see a doctor about a proper diagnosis, and then treatment. OCD is normally treated through psychotherapy and anti-anxiety medication, however if you are young, you could always just try psychotherapy and counselling rather than meds, if the thought of taking those make you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to continue living like this; there's plenty of help out there available. If you aren't happy with talking to your parents about any of this, or seeing a doctor, then try a school counselor or nurse.

I can relate.
You need to speak to your parents, PRONTO. They can help you get involved or help you get what you need.

I am going to go out on a limb and say that you have low self esteem, and you don't have enough things to do to occupy your mind, and thats what causes you to think Such extreme thoughts.


Are you on any medication? If so these things can make you think crazy thoughts if they are the wrong medications.

Once you find things that help you concentrate on things other than whats going on in your head, take them and run with them.

You DO need to see a shrink, you seem to have some issues that will take work that most people would not want to put in. So in this instance that you don't want to put in the work, see a shrink.

Start working out, cheerleading, dancing, chess team, something that gets you out of your house and room, after a length of time doing these things, then see if you are still plagued by the things you just mentioned.
Garunteed they go away.
If they don't after a certain amount of time given to the extra curricular activites, then speak to your parents.

XO
A