I have adhd and have been having a hard time lately and my parents are only making it worse.?

I'm very smart and I go to an extremely competitive prep school. I have ADHD. This makes passing my 6 AP courses and other things in my life very challenging, and my parents make it worse. My Dad criticizes and yells at me, calls me lazy and uses awful and degrading language toward me. At other times he says very positive and affirming things to me. I try to take the negativity with a grain of salt since I know his parents abused him as a child but its hard to not let it get to me. My mom is bipolar and also has ADHD and she yells and calls me names too. She also cries and says she feels like a failure because apparently --I won't help myself and she doesn't know how to help me--. Its very stressful to be around her because she is constantly on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute she's nagging and yelling at me, the next shes kind and supportive.

All of this, stresses me out, and I feel overwhelmed by all the negativity directed at towards me from my teachers and parents. It makes me feel like I will never succeed at anything. Because I was failing some classes, a conference was called with my parents, all of my teachers, the guidance counselor, principal, nurse and school psychologist. In this meeting, I felt like my parents were trying to make excuses for me, saying I was overwhelmed and anxious and have ADHD (contrary to what they say to me at home of course). The ADHD part may be accurate, but I believe my mother fails to see the disconnect between me and her and she pushes her personal anxiety and problems onto me. They called another meeting today to try to get accommodations for me because of my ADHD, this meeting went nowhere because I have improved since I started taking medication. I was against the whole thing and frankly, extremely embarrassed that they felt the need to intervene in this way because no one takes a 16 year old kid seriously whose parents are constantly making excuses for them. My parents tell me I'm acting immature and I need to be more responsible but they can't see that they treat me like a baby in public.

Sometimes, like today, their yelling and criticism gets me so anxious and stressed out in the mornings on top of the stress I already have from school that I just can't get out of bed. And no, I don't have an anxiety disorder because the stress and anxiety I feel is due to the impossible work load I have at school and my parents who I know are just frustrated with me, it is not unfounded anxiety. I feel really embarrassed and ashamed that the I'm letting the challenges in my life affect me in this way. I can't seem to articulate my situation in such a way that anyone understands and I don't know what to do at this point. I wish I could move out or at least be given more independence from my parents for example a car so I don't have to depend on them to get to school. I can't change schools because there are really no better options available, trust me, we have looked. Next year is my senior year anyway which should be somewhat easier. Any advice?

talk to ur doctor and get a referral for a counsellor...u mother also sounds bi-polar...and u sound like u have depression...even if u don't...it may help 2 chat 2 sumone about ur problems at home!

I had a terrible time at high school while I lived with my parents, it was a truly terrible time for me. All I can say is that you have to use the resilience and intelligence you have to do the best you can, and then after senior year go off to college or get a job and move out. When I went to college, I found that my parents began to appreciate me more, because they realized that I wouldn't stay in touch with them unless they began to respect me. Independence allows you to become your own person, irrespective of who your parents are. The fact that you are able to provide an articulate and coherent account of your feelings at the moment conveys that you are adjusted and very able, and that you are unfortunately loaded with a negative set of circumstances. You are in a situation which causes your anxiety, and once you are free of it you will find that you no longer suffer from it.

If you get through to college, and deal with all of what you are dealing with, you will have more maturity and resilience than most of your peers and your negative life experiences will serve as a learning experience. I hope that things don't become too overwhelming for you.

You say you have trouble articulating what you want to say to them, you have done very well right here. Let them read this or write down what you feel and let them read it. Don't do it when your angry with them or it will come across very bad. Just tell them your fears and how hard it is when your having trouble and they think you are not trying. You are trying but to many things are going on inside. I wish you luck.