How should I go about dating someone that suffers from manic depression / bipolar disorder?

I've read some horror stories about getting into serious relationships with people who're bipolar / manically depressed...but in many of said stories the two people involved had little to nothing in common, and were also a lot older, like in their 30's. I'm 17.

I've been dating this kid for like a month, and I know this will make you roll your eyes, but i really do love him. we've got a lot in common and he seems to acctually care about me, and respect me and stuff, and he dosen't treat me like crap, unlike every other boy i've ever been involved with. Anyway, we had gone on some dates and before we were even dating, he said he loved me. At the time I was in teenage girl fantasy mindset and thought this is simply darling, but now i know that wasn't the case. he had vaguely told me about his issues but only now do i know forsure, after looking up what exactly the medication i see in his room is prescribed for. anyway, his intense infatuation was totally the begining of an 'episode'. like, not even a week after we started dating and he told me he loved me, was in love with me, and started talking about forever and always and whatnot did he get unbearably sad, like, brink of suicide sad, stopped eating, and said that i was pretty much the only thing keeping him alive...which was a hell of alot of weight on my shoulders after just three days of being in my first relationship that was more than just hooking up. Since then there've been some normal, neutral times (when he actualy takes his medication), some high-highs (sometimes he makes me feel like an absolute queen, and other times it's borderline creepy how much he goes on about loving me), and some low lows (the suicide threats, the neediness, the clingyness, the control freak nature, the screaming and yelling at me, the absense of trust in me). For some reason though, I sitll love him. A whole lot. Like, I'm willing to stick this hard stuff out with him, 'cause he's really a great guy, and he can't help being semi sort of crazy. He's definatley brought me down withhim before, brought me to tears and whatnot, but my number one intent is always to help get him back up, despite the hurt he has nooo idea that he's causing to me.

Any advice on how to deal, coping tactics, that'd be muuuch appreciated. I'm nice as i possibly can be to him, like I've figured out 'the right things to say', but processing and dealing with all of the drama is proving to be a little difficult as we grow closer and more episodes of mania/ depression occur. yeah.

he really is pretty good about taking his meds. it seems as if every two and a half weeks or so is when he stops, as if he dosen't immediately get a refill when he runs out or something...but it's not like he intentionally dosen't take them. i think!

im not going to roll my eyes at you!

i was in your shoes 26 years ago. I was 15 and started to date a guy who went to the same school as me. He was very upfront and told me he was bipolar before he even asked me out. We had kids and got married and we are still married to this day.

its been hard sometimes trust me and he has hurt me, not intentionally mind you. When i met him he was normal, not manic or depressed...but shortly after, maybe a month he became depressed....they changed his meds. and he was fine until the next summer when he got manic and got into drugs, at first it was just weed and he stopped taking his meds so he became super manic for a few months and then sank into depression and almost killed himself. so he was put in the hospital. he was good for a while until he turned 18 and his insurance thru his parents was finished and he lied about signing up for medicaid because he thought he was fine and didnt need medicine anymore. so after a while he became manic and started using harder drugs to deal with being manic. then i got pregnant not knowing he was on drugs but when i found out i broke up with him because i was scared in a thousand different ways. and it turned out it wasnt that great of an idea because he hung out with all the addicts and got into a big car wreck, at least when he was living with me he had enough respect to hide in the basement when he used. so he went to rehab and only slipped up once about a year after completing rehab. ever since then he takes 3 different kind of meds and goes to therapy twice a week. and hes a great dad to our 3 kids and none of them are manic depressive.

i can see myself writing what you wrote. he just needs to get and stay medicated. its not wrong or bad to love someone who has bipolar disorder, but it is hard sometimes. you have to be a strong person too. not just for them but for yourself. you cant let them walk all over you or spend extravagent amounts of money on you because they "love you so much". you have to put your foot down alot of times and be firm.

its even harder when they yell and dont trust you. but thats just the illness talking but it does hurt. i just told my husband while i was still dating him that i had absolutley no reason to cheat on him or scheme behind his back. and he realized that i had no time to do anything. i was with him 80% of my time,in school and working the rest of the time.

sometimes you cant be nice, there are times when you just have to be polite and tell him off (without being a *****). he'll bounce back trust me. (just dont do that when he is depressed).

when he is on the downswing, just let him know your there for him... you probably will have to be repetative with him. my husband would always ask me if i was getting tired of him...i had to say no about 20 times a day.

as long as he stays medicated things will be fine also learn what can trigger him and try to avoid those things.

Call the Cops

You are not dating the guy--you are dating the disease. If you're "willing to stick the hard stuff out" you're accepting that life with bipolar disease has to be a roller coaster. So has he.

He has yet to reach adulthood and leave those turbulent teens behind him, and you're a teen hanging on for dear life. Yet you seem to think that someone in his 30s has less of a chance of making it in a relationship than you (and him). Even though "every other boy has treated me like crap." What now? He's different? He has made you responsible for his every success and failure. You two have managed to create a perfect example of a CODEPENDENT relationship in one month. He may well suck the life out of you (and a number of years too) and still wind up committing suicide, despite your very best efforts. I can't tell you what a guilt trip that could turn into.

What I don't know is how capable his doctor is, how honest he is with his doctor, how capable he IS of being honest regarding his moods--in other words, how insightful is he is to what's going on. He needs a doctor who would be willing to treat the disease with the proper medicines, and who would have him use a mood chart to check out the effectiveness of any newly added information. He must see for his own edification what a day looks like on paper when he doesn't take his medications, including when a prescription bottle becomes empty--he should take charge of his life, his disease, his prognosis, and his medications.

Anyone with a few psychiatric prescriptions can save them up or use them incorrectly and then choose to overdose on them. Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness. It's also a disease, and is believed to be genetically inherited. He needs to read up on it on the internet, look at books his doctor recommends (including on codependency), look up and read about his medications, and quit dragging you up and down this range of moods which he wouldn't be having if he did all of the above and really cared about you.

I'm not going to leave you with ultimatums about this relationship, but please have some self-respect. A man won't give it to you unless you act as if you expect it. And please check out the website below on codependency. It can feel like love for a brief while, but it sucks you dry.

Just so you know - the diagnosis for depression is so vague that all of us qualify as being depressed! Something you should be aware of is this: After seeing my mom die of being on 16 different DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED anti-depressants - some to counter the suicidal effects the OTHER drugs were having ... and seeing some of my best friends go suicidal or get hooked on the crap, I'd like to share this link with you so you can enlighten yourself without the pressure of a 'paid' doctor to get on to some miracle-pill that WON'T work or 'fix' your life (paste this into your address bar: http://www.cchr.org/#/solutions-alternat... Scroll down and look at the suggestions. Now, there are outreach groups that are helping people get off these drugs but your Dr won't tell you that they exist as he won't get his big bonus if he does. Also, an awesome book I saw this last week at Barnes & Nobel is called "Our Daily Meds" by Melody Petersen, a NY Times journalist who won awards for this book - she exposes what big-pharma and docs who prescribe drugs are really doing - check it out. Finally, exercise - get him into Karate or some self-control, discipline-type thing - this guy with crazy voices in his head and other such stuff did this and worked himself back to sanity! But the LAST thing your guy should do to himself is drug it up. Good Luck!

Make sure he manages the illness, an unmedicated bipolar is not someone you want to be around. They can be self centered, and will cause you to endure a roller coaster ride from hell

Why would you want to date someone like this??? You like drama?? You like getting hurt, getting creeped out, etc.????

I would NEVER date someone that I knew had a mental illness.
NEVER

There is Bi-Polar in my family and if he is taking his medications and doing his best try to support him, it is not easy to live or have a relationship with someone who has the disease. But if he doesn't take his medication as prescribed every single day you have to get out of this relationship. It isn't love it is a form of dependance. Love is a wonderful thing that should be returned with all of the good feelings that you deserve. This abuse will not stop and it will get worse as he sees that you will take it. You cannot allow someone else to have control over your life. You should not have to figure out the right things to say it should be natural. You are in for a huge amount of pain and guilt if you stay in this relationship. You cannot be made to feel that someone elses life depends on you. Please get out of this you are so young and their are so many guys out there who will treat you the way you deserve. It is his choice not to take his medications and he knows what happens when he doesn't and the abuse that you receive because he won't take his meds. You don't deserve this!

You had better listen to Lila and Serene. You are in for a world of torment, it will only get worse. There are so many young men your age, get out there and enjoy them. This guy is mean. Yes I do know that you care for this guy. But get out of this relationship, and you will some day look back and be glad. Honey, you can love other guys, and there are other guys who aren't mean, and will love you. You have the world at your fingertips. If you are smart you will ditch him.

I am also bipolar. It is very tough being around people like us. I would suggest telling him that you know that he is bipolar and tell him that if he doesn't straighten up and take his meds, you will leave him.