Anyone willing to help me get a start to a poem on bipolar disorder how it affected your....? Please & thanks.?

Anyone over age 30m who has bipolar disorder, how did it affect your child hood and your everyday activities? I need help writing a poem about that.
Please & thanks.

Make self exploration for your self and you will find out all the mistakes and the rights stuff which you had been done in your Child hood .

Well, I am not over age 30, I am 17 years of age. I have had Bi Polar for quite some time, I was misdiagnosed with depression,anxiety and paranoia when i was 13, probably because doctors do not like to 'label' children/minors. My sickness constantly left me feeling isolated from everything, It was extremely hard to differenate between reality and delusions. I heard voices and because i messed around with ouija boards, i was convinced they were 'spirits' and i still am. Bi Polar makes you feel completely alone although some people vary and CAN continue with their lives in a mostly normal way. You do not talk to people and constantly plaster on a face so that people will not suspect you're sick, alot of people will reject others with Bi Polar as examples in movies or such show the person to be quite crazy, but those are just movies. I sleep alot, have no motivation. I cancel plans I make with the very, very limited amount of friends i have. I act out and swear at my parents saying extremely horrible things to them, then feel remorseful and depressed and cry and tell them i didnt mean it. My room is constantly a mess and my door has cracks through it where i punch it when i am angry.I have a fringe, that i got cut purposely so i can hide under it.Bi Polar constantly leaves me crying at even the most smallest of things, if i can find my toothbrush or something to wear if i want to go out, I will start crying. I am unable to get to sleep till about 3-5 in the morning which disrupts my day activities as i work in the mid afternoon to late at night, and i am more awake at night. I do reckless things like taking my mothers car out and driving ( do not have a licence although i know how to drive )
I used to have promiscuous sex and would casually go out with guys then dump them because i was 'bored'. I try to not bother with relationships nowadays because i want something meaningful and im afraid of rejection by that person. It is horrible to see your mother come home,crying, after work when she tires to find a psychiatrist to see you, but the wont because your a minor. My dads mother had schizo affective disorder and killed herself when he was 7, so i know it takes a huge toll on him. Basically, Bi Polar is a disease which feels as though it eats away at your mind, and eventually you cant remember things, and gets even harder to differenate between dreams, delusions and reality. People think you are lazy and immature and reckless which aggravates me and depresses me further. You feel like youre going crazy and convince yourself the world is against you, you get sudden impulsive rushes of passion and ideas and act on them, and other times you think "My life is never going to be better" and can't put to mind that you will ever be happy, it seems impossible that you will ever feel happy and attempts at trying seem futile. In terms of affecting my childhood, i was lively and made friends quite easy, because you dont know you have bi polar when youre a child and psychiatrists or doctors dont like to diagnose young children with such disorders, especially because the medication takes a huge toll on the human body. I would act out and do silly things, and what made it worse is that my older sister would manipulate me into believe stupid things and increase my paranoia, scare me to death about UFO's and i wouldnt sleep in the dark, locking me up in suitcases and throwing me down staircases. At the best of times i would be affectionate and want hugs from everyone in my family and lots of love, and then i would tell people to go away and play by myself and often go on adventures in the jungle ( lived in singapore for some time ), would get in trouble climbing on top of the roof of buildings and wandering off when my mother went shopping, would steal toys from shops without always knowing it was wrong. I'm not sure otherwise how to explain how it affects me. It definitely affects my social life, even more now these days as a young adolescent. I rarely go out now and am extremely anti social, it severely affected my attendance at school and my grades, and sometimes i would get suspended for getitng into fights or having an episode and swearing or throwing things at the teachers, like chairs. It is a horrible disorder which is, unfortunately, life long. Currently I am not on medication and have been self medicating with drugs. Oh and i started drinking and smoking cigarettes and marijuana when i was 12 years of age, i was an alcoholic until last year when i abrubtly stopped somehow after i moved back home because my parents kicked me out.It takes a huge toll on the immediate family too. Good luck with your poem, hope this may have helped in some way.