To those who have seen the effects of breast cancer first hand?

My mother-in-law finds out today if she has breast cancer. The doctors have indicated to her that it seems likely, but they are waiting for the final biopsy results to be certain.

I love my MIL dearly. I have been the rock throughout this whole mess, as my SIL, FIL, and husband are visibly shaken by the entire experience.

To make matters worse, I have so many questions about what to do. My MIL watches Em two days a week. I have indicated to her that if it is breast cancer, I will find someone else to take Em those days so that she can seek treatment and rest. Her recovery is our number 1 concern. But she is insisting that Em will help her feel better and that seeing her is the best part of her week.

I don't know what to do. I am concerned that treatment would be harder on her than she thinks.

Have any of you had breast cancer or watched someone go through treatment? How did you/they respond?

I want to do what is best for my MIL. I know her diagnosis isn't for sure yet, but she said she already knows she has it and is going to fight it with all that she has. What would you do?

P.S. They also found a mass in one of her lymph nodes.

I had thyroid cancer a few years ago and went through radioactive treatment. I could barely move for awhile, because of 2 surgeries, treatment and no thyroid hormones. Taking care of an infant would have been tough. But, having a babby would have eased my other symptoms, loneliness, sadness, depression etc.

I would try to still bring Em over to see your MIL often, but not put the burden of caring for her for awhile until you all know how her energy will be. She will no doubtly have good and bad days.

I wish your family the best.

There is no way your MIL will be able to watch Em. Insist on finding someone else to watch her, but that you will bring her over at least two nights a week (with you there) so they can spend time together......she will be feeling pretty weak by the time they start chemo and all that.

As long as she feels up to it I would allow her to watch your daughter. Some women are very strong and by taking away everything from them makes them feel like an allien. I would take it day by day. The treatments are going to be hard but it might not be right off the bat.

I have not experienced this..but I do know the stress and scariness of any kind of possibility of a major health problem. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and she is too. Please keep us posted.

Oh jeez...

I really hope it isn't cancer. I've seen breast cancer firsthand and I don't want my mind to go back there again.

As for Em... I would find a backup ASAP but I would keep bringing her around her as long as possible because it will help her feel better, feel happier, feel useful. There might be a time when she feels too weak to care for her and that's when you'll want the backup- but I'd make sure to bring her over anyway when you can be there too in order to brighten her spirits and give her something to fight for.

Good luck to you all. It's one of the worst things ever.

id let her watch your daughter, until such times where she starts treatments any physically cannot care for her. she is right, your daughter will make her smile and see what she has to fight for. take your cue from your MIL, when you see her starting to look and feel increasingly tired, ill etc, then its time to say, i will still bring EM over, but think its better for your health at this moment if you dont watch her.

my aunt (who was more like a mother to me) had breast cancer which spread through out her body 9 yrs after diagnosis. my aunt had radio and chemo, she had a kidney removed due to a growth on her kidney, she had a double mastectomy and full hysterectomy.

she didnt make it. (i have tears in my eyes) but she fought for 9 years till she just couldnt anymore. after 16mos in a hospice, confined to her bed for 14mos and 2 brain aneurysms she passed away after flashing a short smile.

my aunt had many forms of aggressive cancer, not just breast cancer, so i in no way mean to scare you.

make sure she asks what stage her cancer is, There are statistics available that sum up survival rates by breast cancer stage. The following are based on studies of a 5 year survival rate.



Stage 0: 100%


Stage I:100%


Stage IIA: 92%


Stage IIB:81%


Stage IIIA:67%


Stage IIIB:54%


Stage IV:20%

http://cancer.about.com/od/breastcancer/...


also read this, http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/defaul...

Really all depends on many factors. My mother had breast cancer a few years ago. And honestly you would have never known. Hers was caught early and all she needed was the lump removed and then radiation. She had no side effects and she was completely fine.

Her friend got cancer a year or so later. She had a tougher time, but now is perfectly fine. She had radiation and chemo and some days she was pretty sick. But other days she was fine. Her treatments lasted about 9 months all total.

I would just play it by ear. Depending on when and what kind of treatments your MIL might still be able to take care of your daughter now and then.

Everyone responds differently to radiation and chemo so there is no way to know right now how it is going to be. And it might be fine for awhile and then really tough on your MIL at other times. People thought my mother was going to have a much tougher time with radiation than she had because she has RA. So you just never know. Take care and I wish your MIL all the best.

My mom had it and has been cancer free for almost 5 years now. :)
I'm so sorry about what your MIL is going through!!!!!!!! It's terrifying.
The effects of cancer treatments vary by drug used and frequency of treatments. My mom's chemo and radiation caused nausea, hair loss and exhaustion, but really not as bad as we've seen in friends and relatives. She didn't waste away to nothing, and was able to go to the gym a couple times a week!
I say have a back-up person ready for a while, just in case her treatments are really hard on her. You never know, it could be similar to my mom's.
I'll keep your situation in my prayers!! I know that feeling. :(